Although the French loathe America’s commercialized culture – and will readily blow up the nearest McDonald’s to prove it – Epcot’s France is exactly that. Gone are the chain smokers, striking union workers and piles of dog crap on every sidewalk… all happily replaced by pastries, foie gras and champagne as far as the eye can see.
Years of icy foreign relations (e.g. accusations about cheese-eating surrender monkeys) melt away in the space of time it takes to pop a cork. Even the most hardline Francophobe will be declaring “détente” – up to (or even including) enjoying the performance of a mime.
No, really. By this point, those who’ve been keeping pace (counterclockwise) will have finished drinks in eight other countries (nine if they opted for the outpost!).
Your travel companions who:
a. are dehydrated
b. have a low tolerance for alcohol
c. chose to upgrade to wine or liquor drinks, and/or
d. forgot to eat around the world
are now in a very happy place.
The timing of this blissful state of affairs works perfectly for the ladies of the group.
Charming French guys with yummy accents? Check!
Scary French girls with hairy armpits? Check!
Time to even the score.
But don’t spend too long hitting on random Epcot employees. This may be the last time your entire group is pictured in one photo. Savor the moment. It’s all downhill from here.